I Caved

Big time...I ate so much today...Why? I guess I was bored. I did wash some clothes and clean a little but it was just something that I needed (or so it felt as if I needed it). I ate cereal, chili, chips, vanilla wafers and peanut butter, cheese puffs and cheese, and gold fish crackers....Plus I drank tea!

I had done so well the last day or so, but something about today, I don't know what it really was.

I have to get a hold of myself. I have to stop this mindless eating. I have to get back on track. Maybe it's that I am trying too hard. Oh and I ate ice cream and chocolate syrup! I know...I thought about running around the yard, I thought about working out tonight, but the running chance is over now as it's raining. The working out...My shows come on tonight...Does that mean that I don't care? Probably.

I am going to put aside this so called "diet" until Monday. On Monday I am going to get strict with myself. I am going to put things into perspective. I am going to count those calories. I am going to drink my water.

You know the work outs that I am doing aren't fun. Is working out fun? I mean really? I would love to go jog, but it's just that I think that working out burns more calories then jogging a couple of miles would. I just don't know.

I am lost. Maybe I should join a gym. Maybe I should hire a personal trainer, a dietitian, or maybe I should just get lipo suction and forget the whole thing.

I am struggling to find how to do this in a way that I can stick to it. I need will power, I need to stick to my guns, I need to crack the whip on myself....I need a cookie! No, I do not need a cookie. I want a cookie. Wait a second. Needing and wanting...That's it! I eat because I want too, I need to eat because I need too. Eat to live, not live to eat.

Wish me luck I have found my motto! Eat to live, not live to eat!!